Monday, August 2, 2010

Pokémon Haikus, Part 1

Mence is now Uber.
But Rayquaza outclasses.
Mence we will forget.

Reshiram, yin.
And Zekrom is the black yang.
Third version is gray?

Breloom is mighty.
The mushroom of your nightmares.
Spore-punch for the win.

The old man wonders,
Where are Pokémon eggs from?
Forget what sex is?

The new grass starter.
Smugness in his eyes and heart.
Yet you’ll be most loved.

That poor sea otter.
Flamed by the fanboys so much.
Surely not deserved?

And lo, fire pig!
Surely the best idea yet!
Flames and pigs, is win.

There’s no Bug legends?
I must disagree with you.
Introducing Scizor.

Breeding for natures.
I have bred fifty Swinubs.
And still no Jolly.

Ditto is magic.
It’ll breed with anything.
Little omni-whore.

His Golbat evolved!
Silver, this is a big change.
You’ve learned how to love.

Oak is senile.
Sent kids out to the wild.

Great Cyrus aims high.
Universal destruction.
Rockets put to shame.

Attack Rattata?
Focus Sash and Endeavor.
And who’s laughing now?

Kanto, then Johto.
And then Hoenn, next Sinnoh.
Now off to Isshu!

About Lopunny…
Does she have any purpose
Sans pleasing furfags?

The anime sucks.
Ash is a major tool.
Needs new main hero.

This is my attempt
Writing Pokémon haikus.
Hope you enjoyed it. 


  1. Oh man I just have to say that these haikus are freaking awesome and I got a good laugh out of them. <3

  2. These are wonderful! I'm a pokemon freak, so I will be reading your blog daily!

  3. At first I didn't like you, thought you were Hutcheon's wannabe. But you're crazy, so I like you. Congrats!

  4. "Swinubs"? And you were allowed to write anything to Bulbapedia?